Children Need Adults to Lead and Direct Learning
Coaxing children off their familiar and comfortable path at home and school can expand their world in beautiful ways.
It has been at least a decade of winters since I found myself stuck inside for too many days with four bored school-aged children for whom the novelty of snow days had worn off. My husband was out of town, and I ran out of patience for the bickering. The snow was no longer suitable for sledding or snowman building. We played games, built forts, and consumed more hot chocolate than humans should. We needed a change of scenery.
When my children told me they were bored in the summertime, I reminded them that I was not an activities director on a cruise ship responsible for providing them with 24/7 entertainment options. They were children with healthy imaginations capable of going outside and finding something to do. While this was my philosophy in warmer weather, it seemed more challenging to adhere to in freezing temperatures. So, I donned my “activities director” badge and planned an afternoon of adventure for my children and a few of their friends. I did not ask them what they wanted to do. I simply told them to put on warm clothes and good walking shoes and load up the minivan.
The amount of complaining and whining that filled the van as we pulled into the nearby park for a brisk winter walk was remarkable. My young passengers reminded me of how cold it was. They reminded me how they disliked hiking, especially in the cold. I was strongly encouraged to let them return to the warm house and allow them to enjoy extra time on their video games.
It took about five minutes for them to forget their reservations and lack of enthusiasm. We found ourselves in a stunning winter wonderland as none had seen before. The branches of every tree and shrub glistened as the sun shone on the thick coating of ice encasing each one. The icicles that hung from the jagged rocks surrounding the frozen fishing holes dwarfed my companions. And the stillness in the air that surrounded us was so serene and peaceful that nobody wanted to disturb it with the noise of bickering. To say they were pleasantly surprised is an understatement.
When we reached the end of our hike and returned to our van, I assumed my reluctant hikers would be ready to pack up and head home. I was wrong. They soon discovered that throwing rocks into a frozen creek through freezing air creates a whistling sound they had never heard before. This entertained them for nearly half an hour. In the end, I was the one who was complaining about the cold and begging to go home. They had discovered beauty and wonder in unexpected places and weren’t ready to leave it behind.
So, what’s the point of recounting this frozen adventure with my children decades ago? At a time when “child-centered” parenting, entertainment, and schooling are popular trends, experiences like this remind us that it is often necessary to set aside the preferences and desires of children and force them to encounter new and unfamiliar things. Our society has adopted the notion that we shouldn’t force children to try foods they claim they don’t like, so many never acquire a taste beyond chicken nuggets and french fries. Many parents allow their children to always choose their own form of entertainment (much of which requires little thought or attention span). This results in limited or zero exposure to mentally engaging and challenging forms of entertainment.
A “child-centered” approach isn’t just popular among parents. It is also an overwhelming trend in public schools. One of the key areas we see this is in reading. It is considered “best practice” to allow students to choose their own books for independent reading time. The idea is that students will be more likely to engage in books about topics that interest them than books containing new or unfamiliar topics and concepts. Allowing students to choose books that interest them for leisure reading is perfectly fine, but it is up to the adults in charge to introduce, explain, and guide them through works of literature they would never choose on their own but might discover a love for. Most parents don’t send their children to school so they can learn more about the things with which they are already familiar. Most send them with the hope they will encounter new ideas, information, and understanding that will expand their worlds.
Children are remarkable and wondrous creatures. They deserve to be loved, nurtured, cherished and appreciated by the adults in their lives. They also deserve adults willing to love them enough not to center their world or learning around their inexperienced and juvenile desires. We can nurture the things they love while also encouraging (sometimes forcing) them to discover the things they don’t know they love yet. This is true at home and school. Coaxing them off the familiar and easy path may not be easy, but once you do, a stunning new world of adventure and learning awaits them.